Move or no move?

So latetly, more so than ever... I've been contemplating a move. To where you ask? I have no clue! I'm thinking South.

I've always thought about moving out of Jersey for a while. Though in the last few months I've been thinking maybe I should really do this. I just feel like I need a big change in my life. I love NJ but I need a change of scenary!

I think moving would be good for a few reasons, one - it will be a hell of a lot cheaper the further south I go; two - I can see more, meet new people. In a way I kind of feel like still being at home is really holding me back from some of life's experiences. But reality, for the moment anyway, I can't afford to live on my own here in NJ with the ridiculous prices and with what I'm currently making.

Now if this move happened, it would be quite a change for my family. I think I mentioned in another blog how I feel like I have to take care of my parents. They are still able to do things for themselves but because my brother isn't up here, I feel obligated to stay around the area. Is this bad for me to feel so guilty? I'm so family oriented that, I'll feel guilty as hell if I happen to leave. I know my parents want me to be happy but will they be ok with out me? Will I be ok with out them? Aside from the anxiety of knowing whether or not I'll have money and a good job...my fam is a huge factor in this.

What to do, what to do...

Plus where the heck would I start with trying to move? Find a job and an appt first or what?

I need some in sight from anyone that has been in a similar situation. What helped you decide to make the move?


o.X.o.X.

Life in 5?

So people often ask... "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I wish I had some brilliant response to that question. I mean seriously, I feel like when someone asks that, they want me to tell them something great. I know it's basically hopes and dreams for what we'd like to see in 5 years. But I always feel like I have to embellish and blow smoke up the person's ass to give them an answer that meets their approval. It would be nice, if I turn out being a millionaire and live in the Carribean in 5 years, but lets be real... that probably won't happen haha. It's nice to dream though :]

So lets see, where do I see myself in 5 years?? Well let's start with the obvious... 5 years from now, I'll be 4 months shy of my 30th birthday (eek!). Wow 30?! Not sure how I feel about that, but we'll address that at a later time haha.

Next, I hope to have my own place, whether it be something small like a townhouse/condo, or an actual house. Where this residence will be, I have no clue. I'm still toying with the idea of going out of state for a little while, but who knows.

I definitely want to gave a good paying job... obviously haha, I'd be an ass to say different. But I also hope this is a job that for the most part I like going to everyday. I'm not exactly sure what industry I'll be in or what I'll want to be in. I'm not so concerned to find that out right now. There's 40 and 50 yr olds that are still trying to figure that out! But maybe I'll have a better sense of direction 5 years from now.

Currently I don't feel like I've really experienced life. Maybe I'm just comparing mine to others, which I know is not best, but hey... it happens. I know what you're thinking.. I'm only 25, so how would I have experienced all of what life has to offer. I'm not saying I want to experience all of life right now, but I just feel like I haven't experienced much. For example, if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would not be content with leaving this world yet. I know that's kind of deep, but I think about these types of things. I haven't done all I've wanted to do and seen all I've wanted to see. I know when it's one's time and the big man upstairs is calling you, you're S.O.L. and you have no choice. Now that I think about it, I know it's all in his hands, and he'll do the deciding on whether I've done all I need too, or seen all I've needed. But I hope that whenever that time comes, I'm content with whatever time I've had in this life. I know they say your whole life flashes before your eyes when it's your time, so I hope I can briefly reflect and think... damn that was an awesome life!

Ok that kind of went off in a completely different direction. Lets get back to it...

I hope to have traveled a lot by the time the next 5 years pass by. I haven't done a huge amount thus far for various reasons - money, unreliable friends, etc.

Family is a big thing to me, so I hope that everyone is healthy and doing great things. Also I hope that I get to see more of my family and stay in contact with more of them. Right now it's the usual thing where I see them at weddings and funerals unfortunetly. So it would be nice, if we all keep in contact a little more :)

Everything that I hope I have in 5 years is definitely attainable. But hey life wouldn't be any fun if we knew everything that was going to happen right?! Besides, it's more about the journey isn't it?

Most importantly... I hope over the next 5 years that I learn more about myself. I think I know myself to a certain extent, but definitely not as much as I should. It's a constant learning process... With that said, no matter where I am... I just hope I'm alive and happy in 5 years and surrounded by loved ones.

o.X.o.X.


p.s. I feel like I had a list of things before I started this, but right now I can't think of all of them. So maybe I'll update as I remember them. These are the basics though :)

I'm from Jersey, not "Joisy"

So I've come across this quote a few times, and I think it sums things up pretty well.

"I am from NJ. I curse... a lot. I say "yo", and I say it often. I never had school on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur. I sure as hell don't pump my own gas. I know what real pizza tastes like, and I know that a bagel is much more than a fuckin' roll with a hole in the middle. I judge people by what exit they get off the parkway. I can navigate a circle--with attitude. All good nights must end at a diner--preferably with cheese fries. It's a sub, not a hoagie or, worse yet, a hero, and I wash it down with soda, not pop. Two words... "mother fucker." I don't go to the beach, I go down the shore. And boardwalk brawls are just a part of the atmosphere. Yes, I drink cawfee. I know that 65mph really means 80. I've always lived within 10 minutes of a mall. When someone cuts me off, they get the horn AND the finger. And they expect it. I am from New Jersey, and damn proud of it."

Now, what the hell is up with people think that Jersey is pronounced "Joisy"??? Whoever came up with that is an ass! NO ONE in the state of New Jersey pronounces it like that.

Also, another thing to clarify... not everyone is like what you saw in the HBO series, "The Sopranos." Not all of us are tied to the mob. I've met people who've expected me to tell them some crazy ass mafia story and how my family was a part of it. Now if my family was part of something like that, why the hell would I put that on blast?


Here's another quote that I like, that relates to New Jersey. It's about Jersey Girls and it was in The Start Ledger a few years back :)

“She's humble, but ambitious. She's independent, but family-oriented. She likes pizza, beer and lots of mascara, but don't think for a second that she's not sophisticated. She's the Jersey Girl, and she's one of the Garden State's most enduring icons- a readily identifiable personality, as much a part of America's cultural landscape as that other great Jerseyan, Frank Sinatra. So who is a Jersey Girl? There's a chance you're one- but residency isn't all it takes. The Girl has a specific character, both in pop culture and in the hearts and minds of Jerseyans. First there are the surface qualities: A love of an unpretentious good time, and a certain sense of style. Jersey Girls are about attitude. They're about eating pizza, drinking beer, having great hair- and enjoying it all. She's a girl who enjoys the mall, might wear more makeup than the Ivy League would approve of, and gives some thought to her hair. She's got a mouth on her. She says what she means. And she's got a nice, cheerful laugh. She's spunky and witty, and she handles competition very well. She's got that confidence- everyone from New Jersey has that confidence. A Jersey Girl is crunchy on the outside, and soft in the center. A Jersey Girl has the tenacity and drive of a New Yorker, but with the beauty of warmth and humility that being from Jersey is all about. Don't mistake her toughness as a lack of refinement. Don't misjudge her sometimes “brash” manners as a lack of 'classiness.' At the center of the crunchy sweet exterior, she is tuned in and knows how and what she's working. A Jersey Girl doesn't have to have a high-powered career, but whatever work she does, she gives it her all- and she takes care of her family at the same time. The overall makeup, if you will, of a true Jersey Girl: hard-working, family-oriented, spirited, one of a kind. And if you're lucky, she's your wife. Bottom line, all of them are sexy as hell.” - excerpted from The Star-Ledger

A sense of accomplishment...

So ladies and gents... I BOUGHT A CAR! It's not brand new, but its a 2006. I bought a 2006 Boss Hoss Mustang.. it's bad ass!! This may not seem like a big deal to some, but it is to me. I bought the car all on my own, its in my name, under my insurance, my money making the payments. Granted the previous 2 cars I had a part in those too, but it wasn't completely since I had them while I was in college and couldn't afford to do it on my own. So I'm proud to say that I bought this one all on my own. I feel a sense of accomplishment because I didn't have to ask my parents for anything on this one, other than whether or not they like the car and if they thought it was a smart decision. Everyone can always use their parents opinions no matter what age they are. Here are a few pics of my new ride!

My ladybug

I think I touched on this in a previous blog, but I have a thing for ladybugs. Some wonder why I like them so much. I think a huge part of that is because my (paternal) grandma used to call me ladybug when I was little. So from then I think it just stuck with me. When I see something that has a ladybug on it, I feel the need to get it. But it also goes beyond the material things. I associate ladybugs with my grandma and it takes me back to great memories. A few years back my grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It all happened pretty quick and now she doesn't know who any one is when we go to visit her at the nursing home. Sometimes she thinks my parents are her sisters and brothers, and that my grandpa is still alive. Nothing can prepare you for a loved one having Alzheimer's. I admit I really don't go visit her as often as I should because as you can imagine it's upsetting when you say "Hey Grandma!" and she has no clue who you are at any point when you're there with her. I'd give anything to have her remember me for a second and call me ladybug. Don't get me wrong I do try to focus on the positive and realize that she is still alive and in good health aside from the Alzheimer's. But I think if I had the chance, I'd trade the Alzheimer's for something else.

So I think I started going in a different direction than intended when starting this blog. Although I don't think I really had a set direction. I suppose it was just an attempt to have you see why I like ladybugs and how they hold a special meaning.

My grandma may not be like she used too , but she will forever be my ladybug.

o.X.o.X.

It's been a while...

Soooo yea.. so much for me keeping up with my blog. I knew it had been a while since my last post, but damn its been 6 months!

So lets recap on the past 6 months shall we?!

In the last blog I touched on a few things I would like to do/accomplish this year. I took that 9 week healthy cooking class and loved it. I took a few more classes that were one day workshops. Also, I took a 9 week class that focused all on breakfast foods from across the United States. I've made a few things on my own and so far everyone loves it! Hmm I could be on to something... maybe work my way to starting a little catering biz? I'm still playing with the idea of going to culinary school. In the fall the teacher that I took these classes with will be offering a class that gives you an idea of what culinary school will be like, followed by a more advanced class in the spring of '09. He said this will be a good way to determine if this is something you want to pursue. So I'm thinking that I'll definitely take these classes, and also use it to really determine if want to go back to school for culinary arts. So we shall see!

Moving right along... Ok so I'm still living at home and I'm fine with that. I know I said I'd like to move out by the end of the year. My thoughts on that have changed. I think I'm just going to continue to save up so that when I am ready to move out on my own, I can buy my first place (maybe not a house, but a condo/townhouse), rather then rent. I think that's a smart move, don't you? I mean this economy is crazy right now, and the cost of living in New Jersey is even worse.

I traveled to Southern California at the end of February in to March to visit my friend Summer and her family. It was a nice little trip. I wish I could have stayed out there longer and saw more of California. When I left for Cali, it was about 20 degrees in NJ, so when I stepped out of the airport in Cali it was so nice to walk out in to 70 degree weather. Man that smog is no joke! My friend and her husband drove me around parts of SoCal, so I could take in some of the scenery. We went to Laguna Beach, San Diego, Irvine to name a few. We attempted to go to Hollywood so I could see all of the tourist stuff, but the infamous "Santa Ana wind" rolled through so that put damper on that. Next time I hope to go there as well as a few other places.

Hmm what else... Oh I've gone to two Yankees games so far this season. I hope to go to more before the season is over. Being at Yankees Stadium has to be one of the best feelings in the world. I love being there. Hotdogs, beer and baseball! Doesn't get much better than that!

Oh, in case you're wondering I've been keeping up with the gym and doin' my thang with WeightWatchers. It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there :)

Well folks, I think that gives you a little recap of what I've been up to in the past few months, and how I'm doing with the goals I set out for this year. I promise it won't be 6 months 'til my next blog!

I'll leave you with this.. big things are in the works for me. Stay tuned.... :)

2008 WILL BE MY YEAR!

So it's definitely been a while since my last blog. My apologies for that, it's just been kind of hectic with the holidays! But alas it is not 2008! A new year, a new me (in the making). I've had a lot of time to think lately about what I would like to accomplish this year. These are in no particular order... But I would like to take some cooking classes. I know how to cook, but I want to learn more dishes, techniques, etc. I'm actually taking a cooking class starting next Tuesday. It's called "Healthy & Delicious Cooking." It should be fun, learning new stuff and hopefully meeting a few new people. It's more of a dream at this point, but going back to school to be a chef would be friggen great! It would be more of a career change than just a hobby if I did go back to school for it. But yea on the money side right now, that just isn't going to happen. So I figure I'll just take little classes here and there. Hey ya never know right?

Also, I'd like to move out on my own before 2008 is over. Whether I'd stay in the state of NJ or move out of state is up in the air. Don't get me wrong, life at home is good with my parents. But I just feel it's time for me to move out and sort of start my own life. Not going to lie, it will be hard. Though there are times that my parents and I annoy each other to no end, we're very close. So even thinking about moving out has been somewhat hard because I always think, who's going to be there to take care of them once I move out. Since my brother lives in Colorado and hasn't lived at home in over 10 years... I sort of feel as though it's my responsibility to take care of them. Sure they are fully capable of doing things for themselves, but I guess I just worry too much. Even while thinking about it now, sort of makes me emotional. But I know this is something I have to do for myself in order for me to grow as a person.

I would also like to travel as much as I possibly can this year, even if it's just little weekend trips here and there. I need a damn travel buddy though. Too many of my friends are flakes when it comes to that. They're all about it when you bring up the idea, but when it comes time to put money on the table everyone has an excuse or is no where to be found.

So some of you know, and some of you don't know that I've been on Weight Watchers for a while now. It's had it's fair share of ups & downs. Now, it may sound like I'm making your typical New Years resolution to loose weight, but that's not the case. I've been steady with the weight loss since I started WW, but in the past few months I sort of fell off the wagon a bit. But I realize I need to get on the ball here and do what I have to do to become more healthy and just feel better about myself in general in terms of appearance. And for the record, I'm doing this for myself and only myself. People always say "oh you look fine the way you are, etc etc" but the truth is, I don't feel good about myself. So with all that said, I am going to stay on track as much as I possibly can with Weight Watchers to achieve my goal. I've been going to the gym regularly and even got a trainer and he set up a work out for me to help achieve my goal. I must admit, I feel great when I get out of the gym. Sometimes the thought of going is painful haha, but once I'm there and those endorphins kick in.. ooooo yeaaa it's good. :)

Alright so I'm only 24, but I just feel like I haven't accomplished much yet in my life. What is it that I want to accomplish you ask? NO FUCKING CLUE! But I just feel that so many others my age, have done so much and I haven't. So I hope this year, I'll shine in whatever I do!

Well those are a few things I'd like to accomplish this year. There are some other things, but those are the main ones.

To all that read this, I want to wish you a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)


2008.... will be my year!

o.X.o.X.