My ladybug

I think I touched on this in a previous blog, but I have a thing for ladybugs. Some wonder why I like them so much. I think a huge part of that is because my (paternal) grandma used to call me ladybug when I was little. So from then I think it just stuck with me. When I see something that has a ladybug on it, I feel the need to get it. But it also goes beyond the material things. I associate ladybugs with my grandma and it takes me back to great memories. A few years back my grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It all happened pretty quick and now she doesn't know who any one is when we go to visit her at the nursing home. Sometimes she thinks my parents are her sisters and brothers, and that my grandpa is still alive. Nothing can prepare you for a loved one having Alzheimer's. I admit I really don't go visit her as often as I should because as you can imagine it's upsetting when you say "Hey Grandma!" and she has no clue who you are at any point when you're there with her. I'd give anything to have her remember me for a second and call me ladybug. Don't get me wrong I do try to focus on the positive and realize that she is still alive and in good health aside from the Alzheimer's. But I think if I had the chance, I'd trade the Alzheimer's for something else.

So I think I started going in a different direction than intended when starting this blog. Although I don't think I really had a set direction. I suppose it was just an attempt to have you see why I like ladybugs and how they hold a special meaning.

My grandma may not be like she used too , but she will forever be my ladybug.

o.X.o.X.