Move or no move?

So latetly, more so than ever... I've been contemplating a move. To where you ask? I have no clue! I'm thinking South.

I've always thought about moving out of Jersey for a while. Though in the last few months I've been thinking maybe I should really do this. I just feel like I need a big change in my life. I love NJ but I need a change of scenary!

I think moving would be good for a few reasons, one - it will be a hell of a lot cheaper the further south I go; two - I can see more, meet new people. In a way I kind of feel like still being at home is really holding me back from some of life's experiences. But reality, for the moment anyway, I can't afford to live on my own here in NJ with the ridiculous prices and with what I'm currently making.

Now if this move happened, it would be quite a change for my family. I think I mentioned in another blog how I feel like I have to take care of my parents. They are still able to do things for themselves but because my brother isn't up here, I feel obligated to stay around the area. Is this bad for me to feel so guilty? I'm so family oriented that, I'll feel guilty as hell if I happen to leave. I know my parents want me to be happy but will they be ok with out me? Will I be ok with out them? Aside from the anxiety of knowing whether or not I'll have money and a good job...my fam is a huge factor in this.

What to do, what to do...

Plus where the heck would I start with trying to move? Find a job and an appt first or what?

I need some in sight from anyone that has been in a similar situation. What helped you decide to make the move?


o.X.o.X.

Life in 5?

So people often ask... "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I wish I had some brilliant response to that question. I mean seriously, I feel like when someone asks that, they want me to tell them something great. I know it's basically hopes and dreams for what we'd like to see in 5 years. But I always feel like I have to embellish and blow smoke up the person's ass to give them an answer that meets their approval. It would be nice, if I turn out being a millionaire and live in the Carribean in 5 years, but lets be real... that probably won't happen haha. It's nice to dream though :]

So lets see, where do I see myself in 5 years?? Well let's start with the obvious... 5 years from now, I'll be 4 months shy of my 30th birthday (eek!). Wow 30?! Not sure how I feel about that, but we'll address that at a later time haha.

Next, I hope to have my own place, whether it be something small like a townhouse/condo, or an actual house. Where this residence will be, I have no clue. I'm still toying with the idea of going out of state for a little while, but who knows.

I definitely want to gave a good paying job... obviously haha, I'd be an ass to say different. But I also hope this is a job that for the most part I like going to everyday. I'm not exactly sure what industry I'll be in or what I'll want to be in. I'm not so concerned to find that out right now. There's 40 and 50 yr olds that are still trying to figure that out! But maybe I'll have a better sense of direction 5 years from now.

Currently I don't feel like I've really experienced life. Maybe I'm just comparing mine to others, which I know is not best, but hey... it happens. I know what you're thinking.. I'm only 25, so how would I have experienced all of what life has to offer. I'm not saying I want to experience all of life right now, but I just feel like I haven't experienced much. For example, if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would not be content with leaving this world yet. I know that's kind of deep, but I think about these types of things. I haven't done all I've wanted to do and seen all I've wanted to see. I know when it's one's time and the big man upstairs is calling you, you're S.O.L. and you have no choice. Now that I think about it, I know it's all in his hands, and he'll do the deciding on whether I've done all I need too, or seen all I've needed. But I hope that whenever that time comes, I'm content with whatever time I've had in this life. I know they say your whole life flashes before your eyes when it's your time, so I hope I can briefly reflect and think... damn that was an awesome life!

Ok that kind of went off in a completely different direction. Lets get back to it...

I hope to have traveled a lot by the time the next 5 years pass by. I haven't done a huge amount thus far for various reasons - money, unreliable friends, etc.

Family is a big thing to me, so I hope that everyone is healthy and doing great things. Also I hope that I get to see more of my family and stay in contact with more of them. Right now it's the usual thing where I see them at weddings and funerals unfortunetly. So it would be nice, if we all keep in contact a little more :)

Everything that I hope I have in 5 years is definitely attainable. But hey life wouldn't be any fun if we knew everything that was going to happen right?! Besides, it's more about the journey isn't it?

Most importantly... I hope over the next 5 years that I learn more about myself. I think I know myself to a certain extent, but definitely not as much as I should. It's a constant learning process... With that said, no matter where I am... I just hope I'm alive and happy in 5 years and surrounded by loved ones.

o.X.o.X.


p.s. I feel like I had a list of things before I started this, but right now I can't think of all of them. So maybe I'll update as I remember them. These are the basics though :)